Hockey Mom
Letting Go
Why can letting go be so hard to do? I know I talked a little bit in my blog in May about a bit of my past but didn’t go into detail. I need to go into a little more detail just this one last time and then I am letting it go and not going to let it continue to be my story of my future. To some it might not seem like a big deal, but to me there are things about it that still bother me.
I grew up in a very religious family, we didn’t have a TV, we had to wear dresses that went past our knees, not allowed to wear sleeveless shirts or any shirt to tight to show off our body, not allowed to wear makeup, weren’t allowed to go to dances, I didn’t get my hair cut until I was 16 and I did it behind my parents back. We weren’t really suppose to associated with people outside of our religion, but we did it was hard not to. Going to the mall with my mom and sisters we would all be in dresses and have people starring, pointing at us and laughing at us. This still sometimes haunts me because when I am out and about, if I see someone whispering or talking about me I instantly become self conscious, the crazy thing is, is that it probably isn’t anything bad or I am imagining things and if it is bad oh well lol. When I went to high school I would change in the bathrooms into jeans just so I could fit in with everyone, once again behind my parents back, my mom knew but she was ok with it and just pretended she didn’t know. I would get bugged at school so much all I wanted to do was to fit in, I will never forget walking down the one hallway thinking why am I the one that has to dress like this and not fit in. Why? I went to my high school reunion a few weeks ago and I brought it up to my friends from high school. I said ” remember when I would come to school and run to the bathrooms to change?” A few actually forgot and some remembered. We had a good laugh about it and right then and there I thought to myself we are sitting here laughing about it now, maybe it wasn’t as bad as I thought I need to drop it and let it go. The hardest thing is going to be not letting people get to me when I think they are talking about me, its hard but I am working on it. When I graduated from high school I moved out just so I could dress the way I wanted and fit in with everyone. Shortly after my family all followed and we left the church we went too at the time. I still have relatives in the religion and, I am not bashing the religion or church it just wasn’t for me or my immediate family
I remember another time, an ex boyfriend and myself went to a country bar in our town. We were dancing away having a great time I was already self conscious people were watching cause I didn’t know how to dance really good, but I wanted to learn, it looked so fun and I knew with practice I could do it. So happens a neighbour came up to us and told us we were the worst dancers she had ever seen. I left the dance floor, in tears, are you kidding me really? And to this day I have a hard time dancing. My husband get so frustrated with me because he loves to dance and I want to dance so bad. I feel like I am stuck inside wanting to break free and just start dancing up the dance floor. This is one more thing I am letting go of and will get over.
Its funny I always tell my boys don’t worry about what people think of you, but yet sometime I still let what people think of me bother me. I don’t want them to be like me, so self conscious and scared to do stuff in case they get made fun of. On the positive side it has taught me that its not ok to judge people by the way they look, yes I will admit I have judged people in the past, shame on me, I think we all have. I did it cause I knew how bad it hurt me and I wanted others to feel the pain if they knew I was judging them or laughing at them. Isn’t that awful? I am not perfect and I have learned and am teaching my boys to not judge, always look for the best in everyone and don’t put a whole in anyone’s bucket even if you don’t like them or what they are doing. Its not up to you to decide.
Stepping out of my comfort zone
[vc_row][vc_column width=”1/1″][vc_column_text]Looking at me now you might never believe I used to be very shy, I worried what people thought of me, worried to talk about my goals and dreams because I was scared, I was going to be laughed at or judged. I believe it comes from growing up in a very strict background where I was laughed at, bullied, and judged.
It has taken me a long time to get over that and sometimes its still haunts me. Finally, a few year ago I made a decision that this is my life and I am going to live it the way I want too! If someone wants to judge me or laugh at me its ok.
They say you are suppose to do something every day that scares you and takes you out of your comfort zone. Well, I don’t do that every day but i remember after my second son being born I wanted to try working out or finding a fitness class. A good friend told me to try kickboxing, she gave me all the information. I would drive to the class but I would sit in the parking lot and leave because I was scared. I didn’t know anyone there, what if I made a fool of myself? what if my husband couldn’t handle 2 kids? I had every excuse.
Finally after a couple weeks I did it and you know what? Yes, at first it was a little uncomfortable learning all the moves, but I stuck too it and really enjoyed it. Not only did I feel amazing after the class but I met other moms and other amazing women… I was hooked. So, my husband knew every Tuesday and Thursday evening he had to try and be home on time for me too get to my kickboxing class. If he couldn’t be home in time luckily I had my family to watch the kids for me. I no longer had any excuses not to go. I continued going while pregnant with my 3rd son until I was 8 1/2 months pregnant with him, yes I did have the ok from my doctor.
Even though I went to kickboxing the same instructor offered many other classes but trying a new class was once again stepping out of my comfort zone and scary, lol! But, I did it eventually and loved it. That was when i decided this is my passion, I want to teach classes, and train women and moms. I love it, inspiring and motivating moms and letting them know that its ok to take time for yourself. We sometimes tend to forget about ourselves and put every one else before us.
I found that I needed that time for me, it made me a better mom and I felt good about myself. Having other moms come up to be and asking me what I do to stay in shape and how I have the time to do it? That was inspiring and even more motivating for me and made me want to push myself even harder, so 2 years ago I decided I wanted work towards a new goal… that’s when I got introduced to doing bikini competitions.
Another stepping out of my comfort zone, I mean way out of my comfort zone.
I grew up having to be make sure I didn’t show off to much skin cause it wasn’t right to show off my body, I wasn’t allowed to cut my hair or wear make up and here I was going to go onto a stage and wear a little tiny bikini and have strangers judge me!?!? Yup, I wasn’t turning back I need and wanted to do this.
So, on July 26th 2013, I started eating very clean and working out 5 days a week. As soon as my kids would get on the bus at 8am I was out the door to the gym (another out of my comfort zone). I didn’t go to the gym, just to group fitness classes. Yes! going to the gym was scary at first and intimidating but now I am a pro at the gym… lol. I look forward to going every morning, I have met so many amazing people there and made so many friends.
My first competition was May 2013, what an experience… from getting naked in front of a stranger… to get my spray tan done lol. I thought I am just doing this one competition and then just back to eating clean and working out. Was i ever wrong? I loved every minute of it and I did two more shows after that. Now, I am just 10 days out of my first competition of the season and I am so excited/nervous. I am stepping of my comfort zone again for this one, its my first competition in the States.
We all need to step out of our comfort zone, we need to try new things, live life to the fullest don’t live with regrets… it’s too short for that. You know what else is stepping out of my comfort zone writing this blog lol
Decide today, what is something you have wanted to do but it’s scary? It’s out of your comfort zone! Write it down and make a timeline of when you want to do it by. Do It.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]
Hockey Mom
[vc_row margin_bottom=”0″ padding_left=”0″ padding_right=”0″ bg_position=”top” bg_repeat=”no-repeat” bg_cover=”false” bg_attachment=”false” padding_top=”0″ padding_bottom=”0″ parallax_speed=”0.1″ bg_type=”no_bg” bg_grad=”background: -webkit-gradient(linear, left top, left bottom, color-stop(0%, #E3E3E3));background: -moz-linear-gradient(top,#E3E3E3 0%);background: -webkit-linear-gradient(top,#E3E3E3 0%);background: -o-linear-gradient(top,#E3E3E3 0%);background: -ms-linear-gradient(top,#E3E3E3 0%);background: linear-gradient(top,#E3E3E3 0%);” parallax_style=”vcpb-default” bg_image_repeat=”repeat” bg_image_size=”cover” bg_img_attach=”scroll” parallax_sense=”30″ animation_direction=”left-animation” animation_repeat=”repeat” bg_override=”0″ parallax_content_sense=”30″ fadeout_start_effect=”30″ overlay_pattern_opacity=”80″ seperator_type=”none_seperator” seperator_position=”top_seperator” seperator_shape_size=”40″ seperator_svg_height=”60″ seperator_shape_background=”#ffffff” seperator_shape_border=”none” seperator_shape_border_width=”1″ icon_type=”no_icon” icon_size=”32″ icon_style=”none” icon_color_border=”#333333″ icon_border_size=”1″ icon_border_radius=”500″ icon_border_spacing=”50″ img_width=”48″ ult_hide_row_large_screen=”off” ult_hide_row_desktop=”off” ult_hide_row_tablet=”off” ult_hide_row_tablet_small=”off” ult_hide_row_mobile=”off” ult_hide_row_mobile_large=”off”][vc_column width=”1/1″][vc_column_text]I love being a hockey mom! My 3 boys all play hockey from Sept to March sometimes April and life is crazy. There are weeks we are going 7 days a weeks and 3 different directions on the weekends but I wouldn’t change it for anything.
I love being there to cheer them on and yes I am known to be the loudest cheering mom out there, but in a good way. I am always positive and always encouraging them. There are times when i want to pull my hair out. Times our schedule is crazy school ends at 330 and have to get one son to the rink and on the ice by 4 and we get stuck sitting in traffic and then another son to other end of town to be on the ice by 430 thank goodness our town isn’t overly big so it is possible to get around fairly easy but when there is a train or traffic is backed up I have to just tell myself it ok we will get there when we do lol!
The kids have so many friends they play with or against so its awesome to go and I get to visit with friends, I love it. Its an awesome social outing for all of us. Am I a crazy hockey mom yes and I love it do I get a few looks cause i maybe cheer too loud. But, I am ok with it.
I love hockey, I played hockey just for fun when I was growing up every Thursday night and Saturdays. After chores were finished, kids and adults in my community would get together at the community rink and play. Our community was small (maybe 100 people), we would be there for hours playing. I loved it and still love playing hockey with my family.
I also love watching hockey my favorite hockey team is the Edmonton Oilers, I love them! I get to as many games as possible even though I live 2 1/2 hours away, usually 1-2 games a week. Its a little tricky when my kids have to get to hockey but thankfully my husband will take them to practice so I can drive to cheer on the Oilers, yup a little crazy my husband stays home and I go to hockey games, but I LOVE it and the Oilers, and watching my 3 boys playing hockey. Its my life xoxo[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]